He Said She Said (3): X

October, YSPDD  

'Darius!'

'...'

'Wake up, wake up!'

'Ughhhhhhhh."

'So sorry, D, but I just couldn't wait to tell you my new idea."

'Zghschshhhtsckkkikikikikikk'

'Yipes.'

'Wha??'

'How can you fall asleep in the middle of  a writing session? And snore to boot!''

"I don't snore, Pox.'

'Uh huh. Are you awake now?' Pandora pokes Darius, who yelps.

'Hey cut that out....'

Darius pouts, knowing he's not going to override Pox when she gets all hyper like this. He props his huge heavy head up with one hand.

'D, I had this brainstorm,  what we should write about next.'

'I'm listening....'

'See, Darius, DFW uses acronyms all throughout his magnum opus. You know, like UHID, ONAN, ACHMAESNE....'

'That's not how it's spelled, Pox, I don't think.' He starts to reach for the well-worn copy of Infinite Jest on the desk.

'Hush. But there is one acronym that is most mysterious and I finally figured out what it means.' Pox takes a deep breath and blurts: 'X!'

'X?' Darius smirks a little.

'Yes, D, X! X is the ultimate of all acronyms. First of all it has only one letter so it could be said to stand for the ultimate mystery, the infinity of everything, going back to prehistoric times and the Big Bang...'

'You don't say!'

'Don't you mock me, Mr. Man.'

'Sorry.'

'But it's much, much more than that, D. X is the unknown quantity, the thing in equations people have to solve for, as in if x + 1= 3, then x= ??  Get it?'

' ...'Zghschshhhtsckkkik...OUCH!'

'And what's more, X is a very, very mysterious, arcane, esoteric, mystical, symbol. It looks like a normal thing but then you get past its obvious meaning as an alphabet member  and then you find all this other very interesting hidden and arcane meanings. Sort of like playing the Beatles song Revolution backwards....'

'Here you go again. Pandora. Are you saying X like, the cross? Like in religion?'

'Nope. But let's take X apart and see all the different things it can mean.' She starts drawing symbols on scrap paper. The first one looks like this:   > <  'See, if you take the X apart where it crosses, it can represent Ortho Stice getting his forehead pulled away from the icy window.'

Darius blinks. Pox muses. 'I don't know which one is Stice, and which one is the reflection of him in the frozen pane. Do you suppose it matters? Probably not.'

'...'

'And if you pull it apart like this,' v  and  ^, then you have the symbols for the Great Concavity and the Great Convexity.'

'Pox, you amaze me.'

'I know. Now take the 2 pieces and flip one around like this:  v v.  That looks for all my money like Mario's homodontal fangs....'

Pox is on a roll. 'If you take just the bottom portion of the X then you have the perfect symbol for Joelle van Dyne.'

'Care to 'splain your reasoning?'

'Like this, D.     ^  It's Joelle's veil!'

By now Darius is staring at Pox quite openly. When her wheels are turning she is very focused, and she doesn't notice the look.

'Pox, maybe it means that mountain where Steeply and Marathe have their conferences.'

'No way, D, where is the ledge? The wheelchair would fall off that symbol, surely you can see that?' She starts drawing again.

'I think we could kind of go even further with this, Darius. Let's see.....  \ and / and add an o then / and \ . Her tongue is sticking out the side of her mouth as she draws a little diagram on a blank sheet.

'Like this, D. Doesn't that look just like one of the  ACHTSMSME fans to you?'

By now Darius is sure he knows what substance  Pox abused back in her youth. Had to be hallucinogens, maybe LSD. He gazes at her face all aglow with creativity and sighs.

'Pandora, my funny partner in jest, you really knock me out with your bizarre creativity. But you do know, I'm sure you must, that DFW simply meant the X to stand for Sex.'

Pandora frowns. 'Sex? No way!'

'Sorry,  Pox. It's sex, sex, sex.'

'Your mind is always in the gutter, Darius.'
'How about making some coffee, Pandora? If we don't get back to serious writing,  this blog will never get off the ground by 2015.'
'Sure thing, D.' But as soon as she leaves the writing room, she hears the familiar sound again.
'Zghschshhhtsckkkikikikikikk'
Oh well, she thinks, what's the rush.